This guest post was written by Alyssa Blask Campbell, Founder & CEO of Seed & Sew, a Brightwheel partner. Seed & Sew provides nervous-system-based tools that help educators, families, and workplaces understand behavior — and know what to actually do about it.
It's 10:45am on a Tuesday. You sing the cleanup song, and Theo drops to the floor screaming. Across the rug, Maya is crashing her body into anyone within arm's reach. And Jordan, who was fine thirty seconds ago, is sobbing because someone else got the blue cup.
Three children, three behaviors, one of you.
If you work in early childhood, you know this moment. And you probably know the feeling that comes with it: I've tried everything, and nothing works for all of them. Here's the thing. That feeling isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. It's a sign that the behavior in front of you is only the tip of the iceberg, and the real story is happening underneath.
Behavior is the message, not the problem
Hitting, biting, running away, melting down, shutting down, falling apart at transitions. These are the behaviors that fill our incident reports and our end-of-day conversations. They're also the ones that leave us feeling the most stuck.
But young children don't yet have the words, or the brain development, to say "My body feels like too much right now" or "I didn't know that was coming and it scared me." So they tell us the only way they can: through their bodies and behavior.
When we start to see behavior as communication, the question shifts. Instead of How do I make this stop? we get to ask What is this child telling me? That one shift changes what we notice, what we try, and how we feel walking into the next hard moment.
Need support for tough behaviors before the next one happens? Our free Hitting, Kicking, Biting Guide for teachers walks you through what's driving these behaviors and exactly what to say and do in the moment, so you can keep everyone safe and stay connected to the child in front of you.
Same classroom, very different nervous systems
Ever notice how the strategy that calms one child sends another over the edge? It's not the strategy. It's the nervous system.
Most of us learned about five senses. But children are actually processing information through 9 senses, including the ones that tell them where their body is in space, how it's moving, and what's happening inside it (like hunger, a full bladder, or a racing heart). Each child's brain is wired to need more or less input from each one.
Once you know what to look for, you start seeing the 9 senses everywhere:
- The child who can't stop moving may be seeking the body input that helps them feel organized and grounded.
- The child who covers their ears or bolts during circle time may be taking in noise at a volume that feels far bigger to them than it does to you.
- The child who seems to notice everything (the hum of the lights, the tag in their shirt, the smell from the kitchen) may be working overtime just to stay steady.
None of these children are being "bad." They're responding to what their bodies need. And that's exactly why a strategy that works beautifully for one child can fall flat, or even backfire, with another.
In the moment: Connection and boundaries can coexist
When a child is mid-meltdown, their thinking brain is offline. That's why reasoning, consequences, and "use your words" so rarely land in the heat of it. What a dysregulated child needs first is a regulated adult to support them. That's co-regulation.
A lot of educators worry that co-regulating means letting everything slide. It doesn't. You can say "I won't let you hit" and stay right there with the child while they feel all of it. Holding a boundary and holding space for the feeling are not opposites. In fact, kids feel safest when we do both.
The tricky part is knowing what that actually looks and sounds like when you've got a child on the floor, two more tugging your sleeve, and parents arriving in ten minutes. That's what we'll practice together.
One classroom, many children, and not 15 separate plans
Here's where a lot of us get stuck. We understand that every child is different, but we have one room, one schedule, and only so many hands. Writing an individual plan for every child isn't realistic, and it shouldn't have to be.
The good news is that supporting different nervous systems doesn't mean doing more. It often means doing a few things differently. Small shifts in how you set up transitions, where children can go when they need more or less input, and how you respond in the first few seconds of a big moment can ripple out to the whole group. When you understand what's driving behavior, you can choose supports that help many children at once, instead of chasing each meltdown on its own.
Join us for a free live webinar on November 12, 2026: Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
If any of this sounded like your classroom, this free one-hour webinar is for you.
Tiny Humans, Big Emotions co-author and early childhood educator Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., will walk you through what's really happening beneath the behaviors you see every day with children ages 0 to 5, and what you can actually do about it.
You'll learn:
- What's really happening beneath challenging behavior, from hitting and biting to meltdowns, running, shutting down, and struggling with transitions.
- Why children can respond so differently to the exact same environment, and how their unique sensory needs play a role.
- How the 9 senses show up in everyday classroom life, including the child who can't stop moving, the child overwhelmed by noise, and the child who seems to notice everything.
- What to do when a child is having a big emotion, including how to co-regulate while still holding boundaries.
- Simple ways to support different children within one classroom, without creating 15 different plans or adding more to your plate.
You'll walk away with a new lens for challenging behavior and realistic tools you can use tomorrow morning, even when the whole classroom needs you at once.
Register here!
Founded by Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., early childhood educator, emotional development expert, and bestselling author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions and Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, Seed & Sew is dedicated to helping early childhood educators better understand behavior, support regulation, and create inclusive learning environments where every child and educator can thrive. Through regulation-informed professional development, expert coaching, and innovative tools like the Regulation Questionnaire and Ask Seed, Seed & Sew bridges the gap between understanding the science behind behavior and knowing what to do in everyday classroom moments. Our mission is to equip educators with practical tools and confidence to meet the needs of every nervous system while reducing burnout and building more connected classrooms.
